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Posted by / 07-Dec-2017 00:26

Girls that prefer dating feminine boys

Even when a particular girl is gay and says she’s into me, it’s like pulling teeth just to get her to flirt with me or make a move…”One of the most pervasive challenges I’ve experienced with dating after I transitioned has been maintaining the interest of cisgender bisexual women without having to perform romance in the same heteronormative manner I’d been taught back when I lived as a boy.In this situation, if I approach romance even slightly more passively, or deviate from heteronormative standard practice in any way, the momentum between us fizzles out in a hurry.From an early age boys and girls are taught that relationships are successfully obtained by performing “complementary” roles of cat and mouse, pursuer and pursued, the actor and the acted-upon.Consequently, girls learn to define romance as a noun — a subjective experience brought about by a man’s actions.Boys, on the other hand, learn to define romance as a verb — something they must actively do to earn a girl’s affections.

Like those who flee the tumults of city life for quieter and less complicated pastures, bisexual women may seem destined, in the eyes of gay women, to trade the grit and hardships of queer life for the suburbs of heteroville.But note that while the claims appear to be opposite from one another, the underlying fears are the same: In both cases a given bisexual is sure to end up with a male partner, as our society dictates that sexual relationships are only viewed as legitimate when they involve at least one man.This leads to the perception that sex requires a penis to be considered “real” — or, put another way: only sex that involves a penis is seen as “threatening”.I suspect that at least a few gay women actually have made attempts at “making a move” and romance with my friend, but not in the manner she’d been conditioned to understand.Conversely, many of my lesbian friends have complained of bi women disappearing after a few dates, or “ghosting”, as it’s called these days.

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I have personally seen this in action several times, as many polyamorous men have been all too excited for me to date their wife or girlfriend, only to suddenly refuse when I disclose that I am transgender.